Last fall I made a lighthearted comment that I couldn’t wait for it to be February 9th. With the heavy energy dominating the world at the time, I felt February 9th was far enough away for things to be less trying. Many people asked what the significance was of that particular date. “Nothing!” I would reply. The holidays would be over, as would the craze of US election, and we would be in the thick of a Midwestern winter. February 9th had nothing major tied to it. Until I realized at the end of January, for me, it was actually going to be a personal milestone day. As for the state of the world, well, things aren’t much lighter, but they are definitely different.
So what did February 9th represent? 1000 days.
I began a committed meditation practice back in 2018, May 17th to be exact. So it was on February 9th that I completed 1000 consecutive days of meditation. Over the course of those 1000 days I learned a lot about myself. Most specifically, I’ve come to better understand the seasons of my life. I’m not talking the changing seasons on a calendar. I’m referring to the evolving changes in my life and how I have grown from each of them. This understanding of my life came from a heightened sense awareness. The practice of being in the present moment has allowed me to savor my time by really paying attention to the world around instead of wasting my time by living in the past or future. I’m no longer wondering how so much time has passed or wishing time would stand still, I relish in my days and the way I chose to spend them. Ironically, this outlook took time to grasp. Awareness has unfolded into a deep understanding of time, or as I like to call it seasons of living.
The ancient Greeks had two words for time:
chronos which represents the seconds, minutes and hours on a clock, the days, weeks, years, decades, centuries of time - a constant quantitative or measurable gauge of time
and
kairos which signifies a qualitative measure of time, a capturing of a moment in time, a significant era, an opportune moment, the perfect instance
As a lover of the first day of a new month or year, I am very attuned to the concept of chronos time. I see it as an opportunity to start fresh, challenge myself, set new goals, start new projects, or to reset. It’s been through meditation that I’ve realized I love to actively seek out kairos time. This was life changing for me! I’ve been trying to use the calendar (chronos) as my starting point to experience something magnificent (kairos). Sometimes the two fall into parallel, but more often kairos can’t be fixed or forced. It just happens. And it happens only when you are in a state of presence.
Being in a state of presence + a kairos moment = Magic
Magic to me is a witnessing a majestic sunrise while walking with my dogs each morning.
It’s dancing around the house while listening to old vinyl records.
It’s taking a mental screenshot of the smell of a homecooked meal that was made from scratch and shared with loved ones.
It’s making eye contact with an owl sitting in a tree while driving down a country road and wondering what he is thinking.
It’s being the only person to see a butterfly land on my windowsill.
It’s meaningful conversations with someone close well into the night.
It’s seeing fall leaves gently float from their homes as they say goodbye to the only life they know.
It’s the feel of wind hitting your skin from the top of lookout point in the mountains.
Getting the idea yet?
The details of life are fleeting and ever changing. Being able to witness a moment of magic is taken for granted by the majority of people. Thinking about what is next or lamenting about what was consumes the minds of most. The absence of presence actually creates some harsh personal traits! It can make a person: anxious, greedy, depressed, jealous, bored, angry, entitled, stubborn, hot headed, passive, bossy, indecisive, scattered, stressed, lazy, overworked, nervous, judgmental, arrogant, whiny, short tempered, irrational, insecure, and so on.
A big change for me during my chiliad of days was the withdrawal I took from social media and time spent on my phone in general. I literally woke up one morning at the end of November in 2019 and decided to deactivate some accounts (kept some others), delete apps from my phone, and committed to reconnecting to what life was like before the constant oversharing. Much to my delight, and much to my disgust, this freed up so much of my time. Talk about a major hindsight moment! How much kairos time had I missed out on? I decided from that instant I would do better for myself.
So what have I done with this free time?
Well….
I’ve read.
So many great books. My favorites have been Atomic Habits by James Clear. Fortitude by Dan Crenshaw. Never Split the Difference by Chriss Voss. The Coddling of the American Mind by Jonathan Haidt and Greg Lukianoff. 10% Happier by Dan Harris. Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert.
I’ve written.
About my magic moments. Goals moving forward. Challenges to keep myself ready….ready for life. Letters to pen pals and love letters to myself. Deep thoughts. Silly sayings. Capturing moments of growth whenever I can!
I’ve hiked.
The trails around my house. The hills of Kentucky. The valleys of North Carolina. Among the trees in the Upper Peninsula. Along river beds. Up and down sand dunes. The hidden gems around my own state. Connecting to nature is medicine for the soul.
I’ve rested.
Establishing a set bedtime and wake up time that includes 9.5 hours of sleep in between them is my answer to many of life’s problems. Breathe yourself to sleep, and you will sleep like an angel.
I’ve brainstormed.
How can I be a better version of myself than I was yesterday? What am I afraid of doing? What is my ‘why’ in life? I was made to do big things, we all are, how do I plan to start doing them?
I’ve executed.
I made big changes in my professional life that are leading me to financial freedom. Taking a long hard look at some tainted realities, and making the changes to set myself on the right path to the life I want to live. Stop just dreaming about it and actually doing it.
I’ve traveled.
To some hidden nooks deep in the woods that have been the back drop of some of the best kairos moments. As well as deep inside myself to understand what I want out of life.
I’ve experienced.
Betrayal. Confidence. Happiness. Grief. Excitement. Judgment. Uneasiness. Determination. Focus. Laziness. Heartbreak. Loneliness. Frustration. Awe. Balance. And Immense love. Fully feeling emotions and not burying them is tango. Understanding when it is important to keep going in full stride and not let a particular situation get the best of you, and when it is ideal to do a full stop to let yourself heal without playing into victimhood.
I’ve fallen deeper in love.
With life. With myself. With my furbaby crew. With Daniel. With my friends. With my family. With nature. With everything that brings me joy.
I’ve learned.
To smile at the assholes. To face confrontation in person and not from behind a screen. To take my time, because slow and steady feels good. To put down the phone and witness the magic happening all around me. To hand write letters. To daily dedicate time to doing what feels good. To not take things personally. To be still. To sit in silence.
I’ve observed.
The way people treat each other. How I treat people. How fear effects people. The true nature and character of those around me. How I can do better. Magic filled sunrises. The bond built between my boys. The pain of losing someone close. How I’ve changed.
I’ve listened.
To birds chirping. To squirrels playing. To a horse with a big personality. To rain falling. To the silence of a snowfall. To crickets under moonlight on a warm August night. To the words of songs. To people arguing. To what I say to myself. To all sides to gain perspective. To the wise chatter of the trees. To my body. And definitely to my instincts.
I’ve grown.
Most importantly, I’ve reconnected to what my true nature is without the world telling me what it should be. Establishing a steadfast determination to create beautiful vibrations is my top priority. I do this by staying committed to all the activities I listed above, but mostly from sitting and concentrating on my breath and feeling the blood flow through my body.
I no longer need likes, views, and comments to tell me something is fantastic or that it sucked. I stopped needing outside affirmation to feel a certain way about myself or something else. I am living it. I am feeling it. I share it with the people I am with while doing it. It becomes a sacred moment, a kairos, of pure living.
Seeing the seasons of my life shift from anxiety filled and attention seeking to balanced and privately content and confident is empowering. While I do enjoy sharing tidbits of my life with others, I’ve come to realize that experiencing life in the moment and keeping that moment to myself is far more rewarding. I am accomplishing more, doing more, and have found I am more creative. The psychological game of “having to outdo each other to succeed” that society sometimes forces us to play is an illusion. You don’t have to have a ton of money, power, or control to be successful in life. Living in line with your true spirit is the greatest achievement of success that you will ever encounter! All I truly had to do was sit completely still and feel the life inside of me to have everything else fade into the background.
If it seems pointless, I get it. All I can say is just try it! Honestly, give it your all. Stick with it. It won’t be a sudden change. It is a gradual evolution of your spirit, and a 1000 days from now you will understand my hype.
Cheers! ✌💛
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