In June 2010 I started on a mission of intentional personal growth and individual spirituality. I had no version of what this mission was going to be, all I knew was that I needed to change the current state of my mental existence. And it needed to start NOW!

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Like many young people in their teens and 20’s, I struggled with anxiety and depression. I constantly felt inadequate to everyone else around me. I wasn’t pretty enough, popular enough, successful enough. To put it simply, I never felt like I was….enough. There was a looming feeling of never quite fitting in that hung over me. In May 2010 after a full on panic attack while at work one day, I knew it was time to make a change. Up to that point, how I was handling my life wasn’t working, and I needed help.

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I was finally ready to ask for it.

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The day I met my therapist I was terrified. The thoughts that went through my head sounded like this...

What will she think of me?

How do I talk to a stranger?

Something must really be wrong with me that I need to see a counselor.

Why am I here?

What will people think if they find out?

Now over a decade later, my therapist and I have a wonderful relationship of non-judgmental open communication. I’ve come to realize the societal expectations that were placed upon me at an early age, were not an authentic fit for me. Figuring out who I was, and not who everyone else wanted me to be, was my first order of business. I’m happy to say, I've been able to grow from a pretend extrovert into a confident and balanced introvert. Let me clarify something though, being an introvert doesn't mean I'm shy. Understanding the difference was life altering for me. 

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There is nothing wrong with me because:

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Being in a crowd overwhelms me.

I prefer to spend time alone.

Silence soothes me.

I tend to listen instead of speak.

But when I speak I want to be hear and not interrupted.

Being the center of attention makes me uneasy.

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However, I can:

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Stand up in front of hundreds of people to give a speech.

Defend myself when my boundaries have been crossed.

Teach a yoga, fitness, or meditation class.

Take pictures and share my adventures.

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The hard work, tears, and frustrations it took to get where I am today have been some of the most rewarding and freeing breakthroughs of my life. I’ve found the best way to express my accomplishments is through writing. As I work through some tough mental roadblocks, I’ll share some of my journal writings. I do this in hopes of helping any of you to overcome challenges you encounter on this walk called life.